Today, we are here in church. God cares about the Church. He cares about the body of Christ! Jesus died for the Body of Christ. The Body of Christ is simply the family of God. He cares about His church; He cares about His family! His desire is to build and strengthen the family of God. God cares about His house! However, God also cares about your house. God cares about your family. Your family is important to Him. He longs to see you and your family strong.
There are a lot of things that matter in life. However, you would be
hard-pressed to find anything that is more important than family. You
can have everything going well in your life. But when your family is not
right, nothing else seems to matter.
So today we are going to be talking about building strong families. Why?
Because God cares about your family and He wants for it to be strong.
Early on as a pastor, I was eager to build and steward God’s house.
However, God was putting on my heart the responsibility for me to steward
the house that He had given to me.
Here is the thing, we can get so busy building our careers, businesses,
education, relationships, reputations, etc; and these are all important.
However, we can get so caught up building these other things that we can
neglect the very things that are happening in our own homes.
Early on in ministry, I came one board as the youth pastor. I was a young
man with a family, a wife and a daughter. I was so eager to build the house of God. I was so eager to grow our young people and invest in our church.
However, I was spending so much of my time to God’s House, and not
enough time with my family. The Lord began speaking to me about being
balanced. I learned the value of being present when I am home, not just
for my kids, but also for my wife. Because if my house isn’t healthy, how
can I be healthy for the church? If my house family isn’t strong, how can I
be strong for my church?
So, before we begin talking about building strong families, I think it is
important to define what a strong family looks like.A family that prioritizes God and one another above everything else = Strong Family
Marriage = Foundation of the Family
The foundation of the family is marriage. Meaning, if we want our family to be strong, we need our marriage to be strong. No matter what trials you go through together, what difficulty, or circumstances, your marriage has to be the bedrock. Meaning, if we are investing in our home, kids, careers, but we are not investing into our marriage, then the foundation of our family will be compromised.
Husbands, we are called to love our wives like Christ loved the church
and “gave Himself up” for her. The Bible tells wives to respect their
husbands; it doesn’t say that we “demand respect” from our wives.
We are called to love them. We are called to make an investment. Similarly, wives are called to make an investment.
David’s Example
In 2 Samuel chapter 7, David is finally at peace—his enemies had been
subdued and he is living in a beautiful palace. Out of a grateful heart, he
tells the prophet Nathan that he wants to build God a house (temple) since
the Ark of God was still dwelling in a tent.
God responds by promising David that He was going to make his name
great and establish his house instead. It was going to be through his
dynasty that the savior of the world, Jesus, would come through.
2 Samuel 7:11 NIV - “The Lord declares to you that the Lord himself will establish a house for you.”
This was a big deal! David praised God for the love and kindness He
showed David. You can find David’s response at the end of chapter 7.
After this encounter, David continues to grow evermore successful as the
king of Israel.
2 Samuel 8:15
“So David reigned over all Israel, doing what was just and right for all his people.”
However, a few chapters later things begin to change. David begins to
make questionable decisions in his home. He does something, while it wasnot godly, it was culturally acceptable at this time for a king. He takes on numbers of wives and concubines and he ends up having all of these kids from all his baby-mamas. His kids were out of control doing all sorts of things they shouldn’t be doing. This leads to things really spiraling out of control with David’s home.
David has a daughter from one of his wives named Tamar (seems to be his
only daughter that was listed). He also has a son named Amnon from
another one of his wives. The Bible says that Amnon “burned with lust” for
his younger half sister, Tamar (most likely a teenager). Upon hearing this,
Absalom, another son of David and the full older brother of Tamar, was
enraged. Upon realizing that nothing had been done to bring about justice
for his sister, Absalom murders his half-brother Amnon.
Now, what I want to do is to take a look at David’s story to see what we can do
to build a strong household. David was a great king and had a mighty kingdom.
However, while he was successful as a king, his family was in shambles. While
David was successful as a leader on the throne, he struggled as a leader
of his home. His lack of attention at home caused him to end up with a broken household. With that said, let’s look at 3 areas where we must pay attention to in order for us to build a strong household:
1. Spiritual Leadership
David’s response to this tragedy was subpar…
2 Samuel 13:21
-
“When King David heard all this, he was furious.”
David was upset, but he did nothing about it. He continued on with his
duties as a king and ignored the problems that were happening at
home. Absalom waited for 2 full years, likely hoping that his father would do something about it. He never said a word to Amnon, although he hated for what he did. After waiting for so long, Absalom took matters into his own hands and he killed Amnon.
As great of a king David was, he was passive as a leader at home.
While he was a leader on the battlefield for his kingdom, his family
needed for him to be present as a leader in his household.
• It is important that we pay attention to what is happening in our family
and our homes.• The devil is always looking to try to divide and destroy our family.
• It is important that we make decisions for our children when they are
young.
• When they are out of the house, remain present and ready for when
they reach out to you for guidance.
• The only way we can do this is if we are present and involved.
• For single mothers, know that you can be the spiritual leadership for
your family. While you can’t be their father, you don’t have to. Psalms
68 says that God is a father to the fatherless. Be encouraged!
2. Invest in Relationship
After killing Amnon, David’s son Absalom fled the country and remained
in exile for 3 years. During this entire time, David never sought him out.
In fact, David avoided him for years. Eventually, when Absalom came
back, David still neglected him and didn’t reconcile with him.
2 Samuel 14:24 - “But the king gave this order: “Absalom may go to his
own house, but he must never come into my presence.” So Absalom
did not see the king.”
3. This led to great bitterness within Absalom. So much so, he stirred up a
rebellion. David had a mess on his hands.
• It is important that we spend time with our family and with our children. Being around is not the same thing as being present.
• David was so busy being a great king that he allowed it to keep him from setting time aside to be a great father.
• We must not allow important things in life keep us from spending time with the most important thing in life, family.
• Set time aside, spend time with your children. Let us value the very thing that God has given us to steward.
• Maybe you made some mistakes early on and you weren’t there for your family then. You can’t do anything about yesterday, but you can do something about tomorrow.
• David didn’t get it right early on, but still his son Absalom wanted to
see him. He had a chance to make things right moving forward. It is
worth making an investment if allowed.
Be an Example at Home
David ended up with a hot mess on his hands concerning his family.
Scholars believe that one of the reasons why David never did anything about his daughter Tamar could be because of his sin with Bathsheba.
They believe that his sin with Bathsheba, along with the cover up
murder of her husband Uriah, caused him to shy away from doing anything about it because he was ashamed.
• David lived a great life in public but fell short at home.
• It is important that we be live out our faith at home through example.
• Our children are shaped more by our example than by our words.
• Let us live our faith at home more than we do at church.
• The people we want to gain the respect of should not be the people
at church, work, school, etc. The people we should want to gain the
respect of is our own family, the ones who see us everyday at home.
• Whether you are a parent, grandparent, older sibling, etc, aim to be a godly example at home more than just in public.
These are all great reminders for us to focus on our families. Let us avoid
making the same mistakes David made. Instead, let us build strong
families that in turn build strong churches.
Joshua 24:15 - “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
