Gtcotr/ws062216
The
Bible is the Word of God intended to communicate God’s Will to mankind. The
Gospel of John begins by telling us that Jesus came from heaven to earth in the
likeness of man so that He might show us the Father and help us to understand
what He wants. Jesus gathered multitudes and told them the wonderful message He
was sent to tell. He then sent messengers into all the world to communicate
this Good News Gospel to all mankind.
The
Bible is a picture of God’s purpose filled attempts to communicate with us. He
teaches us that just saying it might not be enough … more attention might be
needed if we are to accomplish our goals of making sure others hear and
accurately understand the message we are sending. Jesus used more than words to
communicate His message. The Apostle Paul was also concerned about people
understanding the words some chose to use.
1 Corinthians 14:19 But in a
church meeting I would rather speak five understandable words to help others
than ten thousand words in an unknown language.
Many
people are poor communicators and perhaps a fair portion of those don’t realize
it or can’t imagine they aren’t being understood. They feel the frustration of
conversations and may wonder why their expectations are not met but they have
no conscious consideration as to why and no idea how to fix it.
There
is a principle that says: When you are doing something that is not working, just
continuing to do it more won’t fix it.
·
More of the same will only get more of the same.
·
Nothing changes until something changes.
Nowhere
can this be seen more than in the area of communication .
1.
People attempt to communicate using:
a.
Spoken Words
b.
Written Words
c.
Gestures
d.
Body Language
e.
Messengers
2.
We have not communicated simply because we made an attempt.
3.
Until the intended message is received with the same intent as sent,
communication has not taken place.
Imagine
yourself in a relationship with someone who did not speak the same language as
you. Communication could be difficult. Extra time would need to be taken on the
part of the speaker to making sure understandable words and gestures were used
as well as close attention paid on the part of the listener. Hopefully over
time two people could learn how to best send the message they wanted the other
to receive.
I
have had the occasion to travel in many foreign countries over the past 4
decades or so. While living in Europe for a few years it was a continual
necessity for me to take extra time and pay close attention to each
conversation in order to make certain I was understanding and being understood
lest I ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong
expectations. Misunderstandings were always a potential and it took work to
insure effective communication.
I
have had several occasions when even with a translator the right message was
hard to communicate because of customs and cultures, as well as feelings which
are meant to accompany a message which can be difficult to translate. Nonetheless,
I have found that if two people are willing to work and try not to be offended
when no offense is meant, communication can take place even in difficult times.
When
it comes to marriage people often imagine they speak the same language simply
because they grew up in the same country, lived in the same community or went
to the same school. We assume people who are close to us understand what we
mean because we know exactly what we mean. This is one of the most difficult
problems in marriage.
However,
to assume you speak the same language as your spouse would be dangerous and
often incorrect. You may be from different planets.
·
Meanings are not in words … meanings are in people.
Words
are very imprecise vehicles of communications and unless you understand the
language of your spouse, children and friends, you may often misunderstand and
be misunderstood. Here are some things we need to consider when attempting to
communicate with others … especially with our spouse. Ask yourself:
1.
What makes the most sense to me?
a. Words
b. Actions
c. Feelings
2.
What makes the most sense to my spouse?
a. There is not one
best way to communicate.
b. The best way to
communicate is the way that works.
c. If it’s not working
… guess what … it’s not working!
3.
First seek to understand before seeking to be understood.
a. If your spouse says
something with which you disagree or are offended by and their reply is “that’s
not what I meant”, believe them. Why? Because it’s not what they meant!
b. If there has been
need for clarification in the past or if you are unsure, repeat what you think
you heard before you act.
One
of the worst things about poor communication is that if allowed to continue
without remedy spouses can either get into the destructive habit of arguing
over things they don’t even disagree on or one or both of them stop feeling it
is worth the effort to even try to be understood any longer.
If
you are having a problem with communication why not go ahead and take a look at
the things we have heard tonight.
·
What
language do I speak?
·
How
does that differ from my spouse?
·
What
can I do to learn to better communicate and to more accurately understand them
in their language?
If
they don’t mean to be a problem … that should go a long way in giving you
patience and hope.
