Gtcotr/ss061916
John 14:8 Philip said,
"Lord, show us the Father and we will be satisfied."
I have thought long and hard on just
which role is the hardest to fulfill in life. I have come to the conclusion
that the most difficult thing to be in this life is a father.
It could be in part due to the fact
that generally fathers are more logical and less emotional than the average
mother. Perhaps this leads fathers to find it harder to express themselves or
make the small talk necessary to build and maintain close relationships. Or
maybe it’s just the fact that unlike a mother, a father cannot know the bond
that comes from having a child grow inside their womb or suckle their breasts,
drawing every ounce of life from that dependent relationship.
Nonetheless fathers are rightfully
given the ultimate responsibility to provide for, protect and defend the family
while often left with a sense of being out of the real family loop unless and
until the family needs provision, protection or defense. Fathers naturally
begin the relationship with their children at a great disadvantage and many
never manage to make up the distance no matter how hard they try. Perhaps the
most misunderstood and least appreciated runner in this race of life is the
father.
Fathers come in all three
sizes:
Good
Bad
Indifferent
Sorry, but they don’t come in
perfect! At least earthly fathers don’t …
Not everyone here today can put
themselves in the shoes of a father nor see life from a father’s perspective.
However, every person who has ever or will ever live can see from the
perspective of a child. Perhaps this is one reason why many of God’s first and
strongest words concerning fathers are written to children.
I don’t know if it is possible to be
a good father, but I do know it is impossible to feel like a good father,
unless you have the support and respect of your wife and children. Respect is
essential to fatherhood.
For this reason I am so grateful
that my mother demonstrated the virtues of a Godly woman by both showing and
demanding our father be honored and respected in our home. Though all of the
years I and my 3 siblings were at home, it was unquestionable who the head of
our house was and how our father was to be treated, spoken to or spoken about.
This was true without regard as to
the many stresses and difficulties of life placed on our family by my father’s
alcoholism. My mother and each one of us children carried extra burdens because
of my father’s decisions and through it all were taught great and Godly lessons
such as patience, kindness, faith, love and forgiveness.
As a result, when my father quit
drinking in the mid 70’s, over 2 years after the last one of his children left
home, there were no irreconcilable differences or heated arguments or harsh
words to get over – we were all able to immediately embrace his new found
sobriety as a blessed family.
In all of the years I remember from
my childhood and young adulthood, two things never lacked: My father never
lacked the honor and the respect that was due him as my father and; Neither I
nor any member of our family ever lacked the provision, protection or defense
of a father when and if we needed. My father died a proud man, proud of his wife,
his two sons, his two girls and the 9 grandchildren he loved so much. He also
went to his heavenly reward, although suddenly and without warning, nonetheless
knowing that every member of his family was proud of him. He knew this because
we left nothing unsaid … instead of it being all his responsibility to make up
the gap life can sometimes leave in relationships, we each learned that it was
our responsibility to keep those gaps bridged.
I’m so glad my mother demonstrated
in life and taught me to believe and embrace the Word of God as my individual
responsibility without excuse. Here are a couple of scriptures my mom gave me
in times she knew both I and my dad needed more than life expected us to get
from our relationship.
The first scripture she taught me
right out of the Ten Commandments
Deuteronomy 5:16 Honor
your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your
days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the LORD
your God is giving you.
She also read me the same scripture
out of the New Testament to give me a continuing respect for God’s will.
Ephesians 6:2 "Honor
your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise:
My mom let me know that without
regard as to what anyone else did or did not do, I was still responsible to God
for what I did and I could either make things better or I could make them
worse. Life was my choice - my choice.
Like most children I wanted my
father’s approval and I wanted him to be proud of me. No doubt my mom saw this
yearning in me and so she took extra time with me to help me deal with some
disappointments I felt growing up with the added pressures we faced. However,
in all the time we spent together I never once heard my mother utter any unkind
or critical word about my father. She respected him and so I did too.
Through the early years of my adult
life I know I made some decisions that my father could have considered stupid
however, even after he quit drinking and started paying more attention to
family, he never made me feel stupid – he just loved me and gave me his wisdom
on anything I asked him about. All in all, it turned out to be a pretty good
relationship. However, it would never have survived on a ‘one way’ street.
It’s the same this morning concerning
our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Our relationship with God will not
endure nor will it grow to become all it is meant to be if it is only a ‘one
way’ relationship. Certainly God is our Father and it has to be the most
difficult role in the universe.
God stands ready to fulfill His
responsibilities to provide for us, protect us and defend us. At times He must
feel somewhat outside the loop of our other relationships and it may even seem
to Him that we only include Him when we need provision, protection or defense.
I know that others around us can seem
so much more close to us than does our Heavenly Father at times. However, in
truth – He is as close to us as we will let Him be. And, He is never more than
one prayer away.
Without regard as to the bad
decisions we make or even the sin in our lives, God is proud of us and when it
is all said and done, He wants an eternal relationship with each and every one
of His children. Sure we might not always understand His actions or at times we
may feel that He could have or should have done something differently – however
– we must never allow ourselves to speak a critical or unkind word about God
either in our own hearts or to others.
A second scripture my mother made
sure I knew came from the Gospel of John. I think it may have her favorite book
of the Bible.
John 14:14 "If you ask anything in My name, I will
do it.
My mother wanted me to know that I
had a responsibility to pray about those things that disappointed me, even when
it came to times when I was disappointed
with my dad. She told me that I could ask God for anything … she was right.
I don’t only credit my prayers for
the dynamic change in my father’s life and how he became such a strong and
powerful witness for the Lord and a source of wisdom and support for me when I
pioneered my first Church, which I built on land he made available to me. It
may not have been my prayers alone that changed the course of his life but my
prayers for him were certainly a part of my daily communion with God and His
answer.
Interesting to note that the last
phone call I received from my mother before she went to be with the Lord was
her giving me orders to make sure I continued praying and make sure I prayed in
the name of Jesus! I simply said, “Yes Ma’am”, and she reminded me how I had
been raised to respect the Lord, and with that she hung up the phone.
I am very thankful that I learned
early and often in life to honor my father because he was my father and that I
was also instructed and encouraged to pray for him and let God work on those
things which only he and God could change. It ends up that my dad was a good
dad … I’d even say a great dad.
Unlike earthly fathers however, God
is not just good, or great, God is perfect in all His ways and in all His
decisions. We cannot expect our fathers nor our families to be perfect but we
can treat them with respect and pray for them. When we need help understanding
or coping with the all too common pressures of life we can go to God’s Word and
always find that He loves us and has a wonderful plan for our life. Don’t ever
give up on a father … (account of the hitchhiker from Australia I picked up)
So, what can we take with us from
today’s message on Father’s Day? I trust that you will realize that:
·
You are responsible to do
your part without regard as to whether anyone else does or not.
·
God expects us to honor
our earthly fathers and to not disrespect them or their memory.
·
Relationships cannot
endure a “one way” street.
·
Don’t forget to pray for
those things only God can change.
Perhaps we all would benefit from
once again viewing life as God intended from the eyes of a child.
I’ll close today by wishing all of
you fathers, along with God and my dad who is in heaven, a “Happy Father’s Day!”
