Gtcotr/ws092607
God is pro-family.
The Church is the Body of Christ, the Bride of Christ and the Family of God in the earth.
Key Scripture: Psalms 68:6 God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; But the rebellious dwell in a dry land. (NKJV)
The primary relationships God desires to create in His family are not unlike the relationships we have in our own families. These relationships are not necessarily built on convenience or contract but rather on covenant.
Covenant means ‘your good at my expense’ … different than mere contract or relationships of convenience or commerce.
Tonight, in part three of this message, I want to briefly share from the Seven Basic Principles of Covenant.
Again we will look beyond marriage tonight at other primary relationships God has given us and explore how these truths apply to those relationships as well.
We have already covered number one and number two, twice in fact. They are:
#1. A Personal Commitment to God and His Word as Final Authority
#2. A Personal Commitment to Covenant It’s Roles, Rules, Rights and Responsibilities.
Now for number three:
#3. Communication
Communication Is At The Top Of The List For Relationship
I have often said that meanings are not in words meanings are in people.
Recently I came across a research report on the internet. It said:
- Only 7% of meaning is in the words which are spoken.
- 38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way the words are said).
- 55% of meaning is in facial expression.
How we communicate is more important than what we say. Many relationships fail for no other reason than inadequate or ineffective communication. Not just marriages but friendships, business partnerships, international politics and even church family relationships depend on effective communication.
Communication is a must … not just talking or just listening, but communicating.
Communication occurs when the message which is received is the same message that was sent. Intended or not.
Ecclesiastes 7
21 Also do not take to heart everything people say, Lest you hear your servant cursing you.
22 For many times, also, your own heart has known That even you have cursed others.
Let me say a word here about communicating and agreeing or communicating and disagreeing.
Communication may be taking place in a relationship without affording those communicating the satisfaction of feeling heard or appreciated or believed. Sometimes in primary relationships it is difficult to feel appreciated or listened to unless we feel that others actually end up agreeing with us.
Even though the word communication has the goal of bringing people into a common understanding it does not always achieve those desired results.
Just because two people are communicating does not mean that everything will be alright.
Not only is the message which is sent sometimes not the message which is received but sometimes it is received and just not believed.
Yet the scripture says that two cannot walk together without being in agreement. Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?
Also the Apostle Paul chided the church in
God’s model for relationship is family. Just as in a family, other structured relationships also have order as well.
It is vitally important to the strength of the covenant that we all tune to one God has given to lead the relationship. 1 Corinthians 11:3; 12:28.
#4. Unforgiveness and the Past
If you hang around any person long enough they will impress you at least one time and depress you at least one time. It is often in those moments of being depressed by others that we decide to take up offenses and not allow the relationship to move beyond the offense.
We have seen this to be a very destructive tool of the devil which he uses to divide people. It was not until Eve came on the scene in Genesis that Adam actually had productive/reproductive capabilities.
It was also about that time that the devil shows up in attempts to divide Adam and Eve and ultimately divide mankind from God. If it had not have been for the merciful forgiveness of God, mankind would have been forever trapped, held in the chords of their past, their last biggest mistake, their recent failures, their sin, their past problems.
God made a way to put all of that behind Him and allow a new day, a fresh start, and a healthy relationship to grow … He did all of this through the power of forgiveness.
Many marriages fail as do other covenant relationships and all of the God desired potential is lost due to the fact that someone cannot or will not or does not forgive and let the past be the past.
I know there are many individual situations and circumstances that fall into this category which have particular factors that make this hard to broad brush with the simple counsel – Forgive! But ... Forgive anyway!
How many times?
Matthew 18
21 ¶ Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"
22 Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
Forgiveness may not automatically mean restoration … there is a difference. But forgiveness does mean that we do not wish to be the accuser or punisher of this person any longer.
This is why when we forgive we need to pledge to not bring this situation up every again to:
1. The person
2. God
3. Ourselves
4. Others
Remember, forgiveness is sometimes a process. A work in progress and a battle for control of the mind, will and emotions.
#5. Sex
Yep! I said it … and in church. Sex is the most productive and destructive adventures known to man. We will leave for the moment the marital implications dealing with this powerful covenant tool in it’s most basic form and rather for the purposes of this teaching focus on the designed results of sex in marriage --- reproductivity! (if you wish to explore more concerning the power sex holds in a marriage, you may order a copy of ‘Marriage Basics’ from our office or online at cotr.com)
Reproductivity!
If a church is not evangelistic it will become cannibalistic.
The very survival of the church is dependent on the body of Christ being productive together. In the scriptures it’s called being fruitful, increasing, multiplying, replenishing and harvesting among other things. It’s God’s will! The very first thing He required in His Original Five Commandments to mankind.
Genesis 1
27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth."
#6. Money
It’s not how much we make together but how we spend what we make that often divides us.
The priorities and allocations of our resources are important to the collective we call church and to any relationship where pooled resources are expended. We contribute to and for a cause we believe in and we need to hold some assurances that our goals are being addressed and our expectations fulfilled.
There are basically two things that people need or desire in financial accountability:
* A Spending Plan They Agree On
* Follow Through
Most of the arguments and divisions over money just boil down to disagreement. Why? Whether in marriage, business or church …
Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?
It’s difficult to stay together when you are not in agreement on the basics.
I have heard it said that people will put up with a lot of things from others up until you touch their money, then they will put you in jail!
#7. Unleft Family and Influential Friends
Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31)
When we marry into the Body of Christ it is important that we leave the world behind and not allow our former worldly friends to influence our behavior. We can be in the world without being of the world. The Word tells us that to be friends with the world is to be an enemy of God and all who continue to entangle in the carnal worldly pursuits will not be free to be a soldier of Christ.
Conclusion:
It is imperative that we treat the relationships God has ordered for us in accordance with the structure He provided for those relationships. Covenant requires commitment and just as the Apostle Paul says:
Ephesians 4:16 The Body of Christ is that by which every joint supplies. (Paraphrased)
