Selah Seasons of Life

Proverbs 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 

There is a season of a women’s life after children are raised, maybe approaching retirement. It’s often where a lot of women describe finally feel sure of themselves and not caring so much what other people think, “enjoying the skin they are in.” But it is also often the time in life referred to as “empty nest” or “midlife crisis.” This is sometimes where a marriage fails or a new one begins, or when a second career begins. It’s where grandchildren start to come into the picture. So many endings but so many beginnings all mixed in together. It’s enough to make your head spin or make you want to tap out. It’s a big basket weave of I don’t know how I feel!!! 

But I’m here to offer a road sign, a warning, if you will of this crossroads ahead.  

It can be the greatest season of your life if you are prepared for it. At least I think so but it’s also the season I’m in so I’m partial. I’m loving this season of life. I feel the most fruitful, the most productive, and the most satisfied that I’ve ever felt.  

I almost feel like I am getting a redo of my 20s. My cousin who is also single later in life told me the other day it’s like being a luxurious teenager! 

I was married at 20- started having children immediately- divorced at 39 – put all my energy into protecting my children and nurturing them through that very difficult time. I had to provide for them financially, help them get to college and make sure their little dreams could all come true and then one day … those jerks left!  

All joking aside, I was all of a sudden faced head on with the death of a dream. I had dreamed and prayed and believed for the 19 years of my marriage that it would change, that my faith would be enough to get my family to the end story, but I had to come to the conclusion that it didn’t all depend on me. No matter how much I believed or hoped, and because of circumstances outside my control, it was over. And not only was it over it was never going to happen. 

This season may require facing some harsh realities. It might be a medical diagnosis for yourself, a spouse, a friend. It might be your children going off to college or moving away. It might be a divorce or the end of a career or an actual death.  

John 16:33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer,I have overcome the world.” 

By this time in life, you either have faced or will face some trouble. It is unavoidable. I’m not prophesying doom and gloom or speaking negativity over you. I’m a road sign remember…there are potholes ahead! 

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”  

Full Disclosure- I thought I was quoting Closing Time from the 90s but its actually a Roman Philosopher Seneca who died in 65 AD!!! 

But I am here to tell you of the beauty found in endings, and mourning those endings. The Word says there is beauty found in ashes. Ther is an intimacy with God available to you in sadness if you will sit in it and allow God to speak to you, to change you, to walk with you.  

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. 

Left without a husband, left without children to care for, left without a home of my own … who am I? Not only left without things that I had had, I now had some additional baggage that I had NOT had before. What do I do about that? I’m road weary and a little banged up from the journey but man I’ve seen some glorious geography and made some valuable memories along the way.  

But … When everything else was gone, there was my King. Where he had always been, ever present despite my busy-mindedness, ever faithful despite my failures, wanting a relationship with me even though it might seem like no one else did.  

This is a season in life when I think it is imperative to stop and reevaluate. This is a natural stop on the roadtrip of life. I think everyone should plan ahead for it. Even if you don’t experience traumas or tragedies, it is still a natural place, halfway through life to pause and reflect. 

Selah – this is a word found in Psalms and Habakkuk and its exact meaning is uncertain but it functions as a cue to stop and reflect and contemplate the preceding text or music. Its assumed desired effect is to allow us to absorb a profound truth or to let the instruments play alone.  

Everyone stop and close your eyes for a moment, take a deep breath and let it out slowly and think about the last really happy thing that happened to you. Maybe it was laughing so hard you couldn’t breathe or a beautiful sunset or great meal. Now take a deep breath again. Selah. Now say it out loud with me. Selah. Open your eyes. That’s selah. A deep appreciation and consideration.  

74 times in the OT 

“Amen” is used 28 times 

“Hallelujah” 23 times 

Selah is said almost three times more than Amen or hallelujah.  

A Psalm of David when he fled from Absalom his son. 

3 Lord, how they have increased who trouble me! 
Many are they who rise up against me. 
2 Many are they who say of me, 
“There is no help for him in God.” Selah 

3 But You, O Lord, are a shield [a]for me, 
My glory and the One who lifts up my head. 
4 I cried to the Lord with my voice, 
And He heard me from His holy hill. Selah 

5 I lay down and slept; 
I awoke, for the Lord sustained me. 
6 I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people 
Who have set themselves against me all around.

7 Arise, O Lord; 
Save me, O my God! 
For You have struck all my enemies on the cheekbone; 
You have broken the teeth of the ungodly. 
8 Salvation belongs to the Lord. 
Your blessing is upon Your people. Selah 

Notice the progression that takes place inside David. His strength and courage are building as He reflects on Who God is and what He has done for Him. 

This season is and should be a selah moment in life.  

It’s right to pause and give honor to our experiences, to reflect on how they impacted us and how they might have changed us. This is a time to seek to hear God’s voice, to find out what He thinks about it, a time to check ourselves for defense mechanisms or unhealthy habits but also take note of healthy habits and growth. You’ve been so busy for a couple decades!  

I found in this time some simple instructions, adjustments, and corrections but I also found that God was actually really proud of me and I could be proud of me. I found in this time that my girls were really good and I could be proud of them. I found in this time, all of a sudden without the distractions all my roles had required, I got to be with Jesus again just me and Him like it was before I got married. My hunger for my relationship with Him grew and now I had all of these life experiences and when I read His word, the wisdom was so much deeper. It began to give me such inspiration and excitement about the Word of God and His faithfulness. It made me want to reengage in life in a deeper more meaningful way! 

Psalm 126:1 When the LORD brought back the captivity of Zion, we were like those who dream.  

In so many ways, I personally had been held captive. For some of us we are held captive by a poor self esteem, or an addiction. Or maybe you haven’t felt like you were in captivity, but just a little road worn from the trip. Everyone deserves a fresh dream or renewed hope in a dream.  

KE Learning Center is my newest dream. Going on a road trip in France with my kids is a new dream. Making the relationships in my life as deep and purposeful as possible is my dream. 

I urge you, I compel you to carve out a time for you as an individual and for your spouse as an individual and then a coming together as a couple for Selah. I think it can be done quietly each morning or done by literally taking time to go to a cabin and quietly reflect. Selah moments in life are necessary and while it may at first seem selfish it ends up benefitting everyone around you.  

For Example – my friend Lee Ann and I go away every January for Selah. We reflect on the year and set our faces toward the new year. It’s a very purposeful time of prayer and reflection. We spend the mornings alone in prayer and reflection and come together in the afternoon for a time of intercession and discussion. God has been faithful to equip us with powerful words we will need for each new year and graciously helped us process the previous events.

Also in this selah season of life, I didn’t attempt to fill the voids with more responsibilities and hobbies and busy activity. I leaned into it and sat in the quiet and asked God questions and waited for the answers even when it sometimes took weeks. In the process, I left the captivity behind and I began to dream.  

Psalm 126 goes on to say in v 2  Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with singing.  

Proverbs 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.  

The strength this Proverbs 31 woman gained came from all she had endured and walked through, all the “exercising” she had been doing. That is afterall how you get strength.  

The dignity comes from finally liking yourself. If you don’t, guess what, you’re strong enough to change now. Just become the person you want to be. Why waste any more time?  

And laughing comes from confidence, the confidence of knowing that your King is with you. I don’t know about you but I have nothing to worry about when the King is in the room. He takes care of everything.  

Takeaways:  

• 1. Find your place of dignity and laughter, unafraid of the future.  
  
• 2. Being like men who dream came after being led by God out of a season. Let God lead you to the place of dreaming again.  
  
• 3. Selah is written into the Psalm on purpose. Write Selah into your life.