2 Timothy 2:23–26
INTRODUCTION
Have you ever talked with someone who just wanted to argue? No matter what you said or what evidence you gave, they were determined to prove their point. We've all met people like this, whether that be in our family, at our workplace, or even our friend group. But if we're honest, at times we have been that person.
We live in a culture that often cares more about winning arguments than finding truth. People love being right, and we don't like being told we're wrong. But there's a difference between healthy debate and an argumentative spirit. Asking questions and challenging ideas is fine. The problem is when someone isn't listening to learn, only waiting for a chance to respond.
The greater danger is letting an argumentative person stir up an argumentative spirit in us. We can get so focused on proving a point or getting the last word that we forgetting that we are called to be a light and represent Christ. You can win an argument and still lose an opportunity to be a witness for Jesus.
This is what Paul is addressing with Timothy in 2 Timothy chapter two.
BACKGROUND OF 2 TIMOTHY
Paul is writing to Timothy, a young pastor who was called by God to lead and establish the church in Ephesus. Throughout this letter, Paul warns Timothy about false teachers, foolish controversies, and people who were creating problems within the church. Earlier in chapter 2, Paul mentions two men, Hymenaeus and Philetus. These were people who wandered away from the truth and were frustrating the faith of others through their teaching.
Paul knew that Timothy was dealing with a real problems and yet he was still tasked with protecting the truth and helping people grow in their faith. However, Paul also understood that Timothy could not allow himself to be influenced when dealing with quarrelsome people.
We are going to look at four points listed in Paul’s letter to Timothy about dealing with argumentative people.
1. Avoid Arguments That Produce Nothing Good
2 Timothy 2:23 — “ But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.”
The first instruction Paul gives Timothy is to avoid foolish and ignorant disputes because they produce quarrels. Notice that Paul doesn’t tell Timothy to avoid every disagreement. He doesn’t tell Timothy that he should never correct someone or challenge false teaching. In fact, just a few verses later, Paul tells him to correct those who oppose the truth. So what’s the difference? The difference is that some conversations are productive, while others are not.
There are conversations where people genuinely want to understand something. They may disagree with us, but they’re willing to listen, willing to ask questions, and willing to consider another perspective. Those conversations can be very healthy. But there are other conversations where someone has already made up their mind. They’re not interested in understanding what you have to say. They just want to argue. Paul says we need to learn to recognize the difference.
Argumentative quarrels rarely accomplish anything good. Instead of producing understanding, they produce frustration, anger, resentment, and division. Proverbs 20:3 — “It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” In other words, there’s something honorable about a person who doesn’t feel the need to argue about everything.
In the gospels, there were numerous occasions when the religious leaders tried to trap Jesus with their questions. They weren’t seeking understanding. They were trying to catch Him saying something they could use against Him. In Matthew 22, they asked Jesus whether it was lawful to pay taxes to Caesar. The question was asked to trap Him, but Jesus recognized their intentions and responded with truth and wisdom.
You see, just because someone invites you into an argument doesn’t mean you have to accept the invitation. We don’t have to respond to every accusation. We don’t have to correct every opinion. We don’t have to defend ourselves against every criticism. Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is refuse to participate in a conversation that’s going nowhere.
2. Don’t Become What You’re Trying to Avoid
2 Timothy 2:24 — “And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient.”
Think about that for a moment— Timothy was responsible for correcting people who were teaching things that weren’t true. He was dealing with people who were creating disputes within the church. Yet Paul tells him that he must not become quarrelsome himself. Just because someone else is acting foolishly doesn’t give us permission to act foolishly too.
I think this is where many of us struggle. Have you ever been having a perfectly good day until you encountered someone with a bad attitude? Maybe they said something disrespectful to you. Maybe they accused you of something that wasn’t true. Maybe they challenged something you said. And before you knew it, you were frustrated too! You started responding with the same attitude they had. Your voice got a little louder. Your words became a little sharper. And suddenly, you were acting just like the person who frustrated you in the first place.
That’s exactly what we have to guard against. We cannot allow another person’s attitude to determine our character.
James 1:19–20 — “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, because human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”
Notice that James doesn’t say we should be quick to respond. He says we should be quick to listen. Sometimes we become so focused on what we’re going to say next that we stop listening to what the other person is saying. And once we become angry, our focus can shift from helping the person to defeating the person. We may still be right about the issue, but our attitude is no longer reflecting Christ.
It’s possible to be right about what you’re saying and wrong in how you’re saying it. This is why Paul shares with Timothy the character he should demonstrate: kind, patient, and able to teach. And these qualities should be present even when someone is opposing him. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Our response can either calm a difficult situation or make it significantly worse.
3. Seek Restoration, Not Defeat
2 Timothy 2:25 — “In humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth…”
Paul goes on to tell Timothy that those who oppose the truth should be corrected with gentleness, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth. Paul isn’t telling Timothy to avoid correcting people altogether. He makes it clear that our attitude and our motives matter. When we correct someone, our goal should never be to humiliate them, embarrass them, or prove how much smarter we are. Our goal should be to help them.
This is one of the biggest differences between someone who wants to argue and someone who genuinely wants to help. An argumentative person is focused on winning. A person who loves others is focused on helping. Think about how differently we approach conversations when our goal is restoration rather than victory. When we’re trying to win an argument, we may become defensive. We may interrupt. We may become impatient. We may say things we wouldn’t normally say. But when we’re genuinely trying to help someone, we’re more willing to listen, more patient, and more careful with our words. We recognize that the person we’re speaking with matters more than our desire to prove a point.
Galatians 6:1 — “When someone is caught in wrongdoing, those who are spiritual should restore that person with a spirit of gentleness, while watching themselves so they aren’t tempted.”
That sounds very similar to what Paul tells Timothy. Correction should come from a heart that genuinely wants to see someone restored.
Paul also says in verse 25 that God may grant them repentance. That reminds us that we cannot force someone to believe the truth. We can communicate the truth. We can explain Scripture. We can answer questions. We can lovingly correct someone. But ultimately, we cannot change someone’s heart. That’s God’s work. Sometimes we become frustrated because we feel like we have to convince someone that we’re right, but that’s not our responsibility. Our responsibility is to faithfully communicate truth with love and allow God to work in the other person’s heart.
4. Recognize the Real Enemy Behind the Trap
2 Timothy 2:26 — “And that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.”
This is where I think the passage becomes especially powerful. Paul says that through repentance and coming to their senses, these people may escape from the devil’s snare, having been taken captive to do his will. These people were caught up in opposition to the truth. They needed to come to their senses and escape from the trap of the enemy. That’s a serious warning. The devil desires to deceive people, to turn them away from the truth, and to create division and destruction. One of the ways he can accomplish those purposes is through pride, anger, foolish disputes, and an unwillingness to receive correction.
This doesn’t mean that every person who gets into an argument is somehow being controlled by the devil. But Scripture does teach that the enemy can take advantage of our sinful attitudes and behaviors. Think about how many relationships have been damaged because two people simply couldn’t agree. Think about how many friendships have ended because someone had to have the last word. Think about how many churches have experienced division because people became more committed to their own opinions than to loving one another. Sometimes what started as a simple disagreement becomes something much bigger. That’s exactly why we need to be careful.
Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that our
ultimate battle is not against flesh and blood. We have to remember that the
person we’re
arguing with is not our ultimate enemy. That’s what Paul is teaching Timothy. These people were
caught in a spiritual trap, and Timothy’s responsibility was to correct them with gentleness
so that, by God’s
grace, they might be set free.
•
Be careful that
while you’re
trying to win an argument, you don’t
get caught in a trap the enemy set for you.
•
The enemy would
love for us to become bitter.
•
He would love for
us to become angry.
•
He would love for
us to damage relationships and create division.
• If we’re not careful, we can allow our pride and our desire to be right to become tools that work against the very things God wants to accomplish.
We must remember: We are called to fight for people, not simply fight with people.
TAKEAWAYS
I.
Not
every disagreement deserves your participation.
II.
Don’t allow someone else’s attitude to determine yours.
III.
We
are called to fight for people not fight with people.
IV.
Recognize
who is really behind the argument.
