The Book of Colossians Part 6 — Christ in Our Relationships

 (Colossians 3:18–4:6) 

SERIES REVIEW              

Part 1 — Rooted in Christ 

• • The roots of our faith as believers are only strong when they are founded in Christ. 
  
• • Rooted in the Gospel — The same message that saves us is the one that continues to sustain and grow us daily. 
  
• • Rooted in the Word — God’s Word anchors us in truth, fills us with wisdom, and keeps us from drifting. 
  
• • Rooted in Relationship — A close walk with God gives us strength, patience, and joy through His power, not our own. 
  
• • Ultimately, your roots determine your fruit—so make sure your life is planted firmly in Christ. 
  

Part 2 — Supremacy of Christ 

• • Lord over all creation —Everything in heaven and on earth was created by Him, through Him, and for Him. He holds all things together and rules over all that exists. 
  
• • Lord of the church — As the head of the body, Jesus leads, directs, and sustains His people. The Church must take its direction from Him alone. 
  
• • Lord over redemption — Through His death and resurrection, Jesus reconciled us to God. The fullness of God dwells in Him, and peace was made through His cross. 
  
• • Lord of over your life — He made you, saved you, and sustains you. Therefore, He deserves full authority over every area of your life—don’t let culture redefine who He is. 
  

Part 3 — Christ in You: The Hope of Glory 

• • Jesus lives in you — The same power that raised Him from the dead is alive inside of you right now. 

• • You’re never alone — Wherever you go, God goes with you. His presence doesn’t leave when life gets hard. 
  
• • He changes you from the inside out — Real transformation happens when you let Jesus work in your heart, not just when you try harder. 
  
• • There’s always hope — No matter what’s going on, Christ in you is the guarantee that your story isn’t over and the best is still ahead. 
  
• • Let Him shine through you — The way you love, forgive, and treat people should show the world that Jesus is alive in you. 
  

Part 4 — Guarded in Christ 

• Guard against deception — Knowing the real Christ cause counterfeits stand out. 

• Guard against religion — Good works don’t save; they flow from salvation. 

• Guard against empty practices — Don’t trade spiritual reality for hollow behavior. 

• Stay in the Word, stay in community, stay alert, stay connected to Jesus. 

Part 5 — New Life in Christ 

• • Seek things above — Fix your heart and mind on Christ. Focus less on what’s temporary and more on what’s eternal. 
  
• • Put the old life to death — Don’t negotiate with your old habits, desires, or attitudes. That’s who you used to be. 
  
• • Put on the new life in Christ — Clothe yourself daily with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love. 
  
• • Let Christ lead your life — Let His peace rule your heart, let His Word fill your mind, and do everything in His name with gratitude.

PART 6:  CHRIST IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS        

Introduction 

This week many of us will sit around tables with family. Thanksgiving is a beautiful holiday — but let’s be honest, it also reminds us of something important: Relationships are not always easy.

• • Family is not always easy. 

• • Marriage is not always easy. 
  
• • Parenting is not always easy. 
  
• • Work relationships are not always easy. 
  
• • Even being a witness to others is not always easy. 
  

But here’s the good news Paul gives us in Colossians 3 and 4: The same Jesus who transforms us through our new life in Him, is the same Jesus who changes the way we treat each other people.

Colossians teaches that the Christian life isn’t only about knowing Christ — it’s also about showing Christ in our homes, workplaces, and everyday interactions. 

Paul just finished telling us to “put on the new self” — compassion, kindness, humility, patience, forgiveness, and love. 

Now he tells us where those things must show up: 

• - In your home 
  
• - At your job 
  
• - In your witness to the world. 
  

Let’s walk through Paul’s teaching and see how Christ shapes our relationships. 

1.  Christ in the Home

Paul starts off by sharing where transformation matters most: your home.

Why? Because the truest version of who you are is the one your family sees. The person we want to change first is the person we are at home. 

A. Wives — Honor your husbands

v18 — “ submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

In the Roman world, the home was governed by the Father of the Family — the husband/father had absolute authority over everyone: 

• Wife had no legal standing 

• Children had no rights 

• Household servants had no voice 

• Husbands had full control, often harsh and unchecked 

Paul is not pointing out a problem with wives. He is rewriting the entire household structure under Christ. 

• • Note: Paul begins with the person who had less power, which is very important here. He is elevating the dignity of the people who were culturally unimportant. 
  
• • 
  
• • This was unheard of! In Roman culture, you never addressed wives, children, or servants directly. They weren’t considered important enough. Paul breaks cultural norms by honoring them with direct instruction. 
  

This is not about inequality or inferiority. Instead, this is about voluntary honor, rooted in Christ. It does not say women submit to men. It says for wives honor the God-given leadership of their own husbands. 

This honors Christ by creating unity, order, and partnership in the home. 

B. Husbands — Love your wives sacrificially

v19 — “ love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

Loving your wives here isn’t about romance and personality. Instead it is about putting the good of your wife above our own comfort and convenience. This is a self-giving love — this is Christlike love: 

• • Putting her needs above your own 
  
• • Loving her even when it costs you something 
  
• • Find ways to serve her the way Christ served His church 
  
• • Choosing gentleness over harshness 
  
• • Being willing to apologize when you are wrong 
  

The harshness Paul warns against includes: 

• Tone 

• Attitude 

• Neglect 

• Anger 

• Disinterest 

Your love should make it easy for your wife to follow your leadership. 

C. Children — Obey your parents

v20 — “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.” 

This honors God and builds maturity. Obedience shapes a child’s character and safeguards their future. 

Obedience is: 

• • Listening with the intention to follow 
  
• • God’s design for protection  
  
• • Teaches children to honor God 

Obedience builds trust and harmony in the home. Obedience is how children grow into maturity. 

As adults, we are still called to obey this command. However, I believe that it shifts from obedience to honor. 

Honor = Showing respect, value, and gratitude 

We honor our parents by: 

• • How we speak to them/ about them 
  
• • Caring for them 
  
• • Heeding wisdom 
  
• • Showing appreciation 
  
• • Including them 
  

At the end of the day, obeying/honoring our parents “pleases” God.

D. Fathers/Parents — Do not provoke your children

v21 — “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” 

Provoke = Stir up, irritate, frustrate, or discourage through your behavior/ attitude

Parents can provoke children with: 

• Harsh words 

• Constant criticism 

• Impossible expectations (perfection, instant maturity, not room to learn) 

• Comparing them to others 

Parents can provoke adult children as well by: 

• Trying to control their decisions 

• • Always giving unsolicited advice 
  
• • Guilt tripping 
  
• • Not respecting boundaries 
  
• • Criticizing their parenting 
  
• • Unwilling to apologize 
  

It is important to know, whether your kids are children or adults, you have the power to encourage or discourage your children. 

Influence your children in a way that builds up, not tears down 

• • Be loving, not controlling. 
  
• • Be encouraging, not critical. 
  
• • Be available, not intrusive. 
  
• • Be supportive, not overbearing. 
  
• • Be gracious, not guilt-inducing. 
  
• • Be a voice of wisdom, not a voice of pressure.
   

2.  Christ in the Workplace

In Paul’s context, “bondservant” referred to servants under Roman economic systems — not race-based slavery, but more like workers bound to a household. 

Today the principle applies to employees and employers.

A. Employees — Work with sincerity and excellence

Colossians 3:22-24 — 22 according to the flesh, not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. 23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. 

Paul says work: 

• Not with eye-service (only when being watched) 

• Not as men-pleasers (for approval or praise) 

• But with sincerity, fearing God (integrity and honesty) 

• As unto the Lord, not unto men (Giving your best for Jesus) 

Meaning: 

• Show integrity 

• Be dependable 

• Work with excellence 

• Don’t cut corners 

• Don’t complain 

• Honor Christ with your effort 

At the end of the day, your workplace is a place of ministry. Your testimony of Jesus will speak by your attitude, work ethic, words, integrity, and excellence. 

B. Employers — Lead with justice and fairness

Colossians 4:1 — “Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.” 

Paul shifts the focus from employees to employers. He reminds every leader of something important: As much authority as you have on earth, you are still under authority in heaven. 

If Christ is your Lord, then Christ must be Lord over how you treat people who look to you for leadership. 

Paul tells masters/ leaders/ employers: 

• Be fair (treat people with consistency, not favoritism) 

• Be just (do what is morally right, not just what is convenient) 

• Be honest (lead with integrity) 

• Don’t abuse authority (leadership is not a license for control) 

• Treat people with dignity (see the value of every person) 

• Remember YOU also serve a Master in heaven (lead as one who must answer to Christ) 

If Christ is Lord of your life, then He is Lord of your workplace behavior. 

3.  Christ in Your Witness 

Paul moves from the home → workplace → to the world. The way the world sees Jesus begins with the way they see you.

• A. Christ in Your Prayer Life 
  

Colossians 4:2-4 — “2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. 4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.” 

The NKJV starts off by saying “ steadfastly in prayer…” — Paul recognized the importance of prayer. He understood that it is the only way to please God. Paul even asked them to pray for him! He needed prayer!

Paul asks for prayer: 

• • Open Doors 
  
• - Paul is in prison, yet he wasn’t asking for a way out… 
  
• - Paul was asking for an open door for the gospel 
  
• - Open Doors = Opportunities, conversations, divine appointments 
  
• - In every circumstance, we too should be praying and asking God for open doors; not just ones that benefit us but that also benefit others. 
  
  
• • Boldness — Being willing 
  
• - Courage to speak the truth 
  
• - Courage to live differently 
  
• - Courage to stand for Christ 
  
• - Courage to not shrink back from the moment 
  
• - If Paul needed prayer for boldness, then we definitely do as well 
  
  
• • Clarity 
  

If Paul needed prayer to stay faithful, so do we. 

B. Christ in Your Witness (4:5–6)

Colossians 4:5-6 — 5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

How we talk to unbelievers matters. 

Be wise in how you act 

• • As born again believers it is important for us to be aware how we act 
  
• • We must “walk in wisdom” as the NKJV says 
  
• • Be intentional 
  
• • Be thoughtful 
  
• • Be self-controlled 
  
• • Know when to speak and when to be silent 
  
• • Your behavior preaches louder than words 
  
• • People are watching how you— before they listen to what you have to say about Jesus, they will see how you live. 
  
• • You can’t lead people to Christ if your life contradicts Him 
  

 

Make the most of every opportunity — Don’t let moments pass you by 

• • When you ask God for an opportunity, He will give them to you 
  
• • What we do with that opportunity matters 
  
• • We must be ready for these moments and don’t squander them 
  
• • Thanksgiving provides opportunity for open doors, make the most of it! 
  

 

Let your conversation always be full of grace 

• • Treat conversations with people as an opportunity to make an investment 
  
• • One day, you will have to draw from that account at the right time 
  
• • Be patient 
  
• • Speak kindly 
  
• • Be gentle 
  
• • Overlook small offenses 
  
• • Be slow to anger 
  
• • Encourage, don’t discourage 
  
• • Refuse to match other people’s negativity 
  
• • Be spirit led 
  
• • Many believers hurt their witness not because they’re wrong, but because of how they treat other people.

• • Allow your tone to reflect Jesus 
  

 

Allow your words to be seasoned with salt (truth, wisdom, kindness) 

Salt has 3 purposes: 

• flavor (makes things attractive) 

• preservation (keeps things from rotting) 

• healing (salt was used medically) 

Your words should do the same: 

• • Make Christ attractive — People may not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel when they were around you. 
  
  
• • Preserve your relationships (not spoil them)
  
• - Not trying to win every argument 
  
• - Thinking before you speak 
  
• - Not saying everything you feel (not every thought needs to be spoken) 
  
• - Addressing issues gently 
  
• - Refusing to gossip, slander, speak negatively about people 
  
• - Apologizing when you are wrong 
  
  
• • Bring healing to hurting people 
  

TAKEAWAYS 

• I. Christ in you should lead you in how you treat other people 
  
  
• II. The home is the first place your faith should show up 
  
  
• III. How you work influences what others believe about Jesus 
  
  
• IV. Your words impact your witness for Christ