Without
faith it is impossible to please God. However, according to the scriptures, faith
without works means nothing. (Hebrews & James)
We
are continuing the Series: Faith That Works. Each week thus far we have
answered the two most important questions we face in life:
1.
What should I believe …?
2.
What should I do …?
In
the past 4 weeks we have turned our attention to the Word of God to find what
we should believe and what we should do in the face of:
·
Failure
·
Unanswered
Prayer
·
Love
·
Abuse
This
evening we will search the Word and Will of God to find out how we can have Faith in the Face
of Divorce.
First
let me say that divorce is both a tragedy and, at times, a sad but necessary
reality. Divorce is a subject spoken of throughout the Bible in both the Old
and New Testaments. Both Jeremiah and Isaiah talk about God having to divorce
Himself from the love of His life and put her out of His house. Talk about a
tragedy … and a sad, but necessary, reality.
Without
regard as to why it happens, it hurts … it hurts God and it hurts others. When
two people get divorced it affects more than just them and their two lives. Divorce
is not a decision to be entered into lightly. Divorce affects children,
parents, family members, friends and any future potential new spouses as well.
In order to make a healthy recovery everyone needs to know what they should
believe and what they should do in the face of divorce.
Tonight’s
lesson on the subject of divorce is not aimed at fixing or rehashing your
marriage problems nor will it guarantee you will not get a divorce in the
future. Tonight’s message is directly aimed at giving you a place to stand
today so that you will know what to believe and what to do in your situation.
Relationships
are now, and always have been, subject to the Cultures, Customs and Concerns of
the governing authority under which two people are engaged. At first thought, it
can be difficult to think of divorced men and women in the Bible however, there
are a number of scriptures that deal with divorce and divorcees. The prophet
Hosea was divorced by his wife who left him for money and men; King David was divorced
from his first wife and then enticed another married woman to leave her husband
and ultimately marry him; Esther married a man who divorced his wife because
she wouldn’t dance for him and his friends; and perhaps the most noted near
divorce was that of Mary and Joseph, who would have followed through with his
intended divorce had not God intervened in a dream.
Why
do couples get divorced? Without going into all of the issues, allow me
to give a broad-brush answer that is simple yet true. The reason couples get
divorced: Either one or both people in the marriage are disobeying God to the
extent that one or both believe they can no longer remain in the relationship.
There
is no way in a group setting to address all of the marital problems people
face. Who’s at fault can’t be assumed or established in a group setting. Individual
circumstances are individually complex and quickly become issue oriented and
emotionally charged. Rather than deal with the issues which cause separation
and divorce, tonight we will take a straight forward look at what it takes to
begin the recovery process.
Happiness
and success in life is not defined by money, power, position, control or
victory over your enemies. Those are false and worldly impressions of success.
True success can only be determined by God and joy is what we find when we
please Him.
As
I said earlier, without regard to the issues which led to the divorce, this
lesson is focused on the two steps a person needs to take towards recovery.
1.
What should I believe in the face of divorce?
2.
What should I do in the face of divorce?
As
we begin to search and survey the scriptures as they pertain to divorce, make
sure you apply these principles to yourself first and then, as you get
opportunity, carefully and prayerfully share them with those who ask and
appreciate your perspective. Attacking, bashing and slashing people with the
Bible or your opinion in some misguided effort to show them they are wrong is
never acceptable. And, correction is seldom welcomed when it comes from an
offender.
It
is also very important to realize that the Word of God is not a license to
judge, criticize or condemn other people for the decisions they make in life.
Jesus said that He did not judge others Himself and that any person, whoever
they are, are without excuse if they judge another person for choices they make
in life.
Malachi 2 NKJV
15 But did He not make them
one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the
wife of his youth.
16 “For the LORD God of
Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,”
Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not
deal treacherously.”
I
found it interesting that God has a long-term plan for healthy marriages. God
is seeking couples who will raise godly children. This was God’s first purpose
in creating Eve. He plainly declared that it was not best for a person to live
their lives without being part of a family. Psalms says that God sets the
solitary in families. In fact, all God will have left for all His labor on
earth is a godly home filled with godly children. This too is His plan for us.
Those things which cause divorce are the enemies of God. Such enemies include:
Adultery; abuse; abandonment; hard-heartedness; harshness towards children;
disrespect; contention; anger; rage; unforgiveness and alienation of affection
just to name a few. These things tear at the soul of a marriage and can cause
irreversible damage to the union.
You
are correct to say “God hates divorce!” but it would be more intentionally
correct to say that He hates those things which cause divorce because they
spread such hurt and hardship and defeat His intended plan.
In
Matthew 5; 19, Mark 5 and Luke 16, Jesus responds to questions presented to Him
surrounding the Law of Moses, specifically Deuteronomy 24. The questions were
presented concerning divorce to test Him and try to trick Him. Each time Jesus
was wise and firm and direct in His reply. Divorce is not a small matter to be
entered into because of some light concern or petty differences. Divorce is
serious and can have serious, life changing consequences. Each step should be
carefully and prayerfully taken with great respect for the overriding plan of
God.
Again
our goal for tonight is to answer the two critical questions:
1.
What
should I believe in the Face of Divorce?
·
Divorce is a
big deal
o Some divorces are
justifiable in the eyes of God and some aren’t.
o Just because the
world or the law says it’s ok, doesn’t make it ok with God.
o Even though God
hates divorce, He does not hate you.
·
God will
not leave you or forsake you
o God wants to walk
through it with you
o Even if you are the
sinner – God forgives sin
o
Hebrews 13:5 … He has said I will never leave you or forsake you.
o
6 So that I might boldly say,
The Lord is my helper, what shall man do to me.
·
God still
has a best for you.
o Romans 8: 28 And we know that all things work together for
good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His
purpose.
o You have a bright future
and your greatest day is yet ahead.
2.
What
should I do in the Face of Divorce?
·
Self Examination
o Examine yourself –
Healthy self-examination is good.
o Be honest with
yourself and God.
o 2 Corinthians
13:5 Examine yourselves as to whether
you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus
Christ is in you?
o If you are causing
the problem – stop if you can – and if you can’t stop – get help.
o If you caused the
divorce – repent and apologize.
§ It may not restore
the relationship but it will go a long way in restoring you.
§ If you weren’t the
cause …
·
Take some
time to heal
o No rebound
relationships
o Forgive and be
forgiven
§ Forgiveness is the
measure of God in you …
o What do you do after
that …
·
Be Kind
and Get on with life
o Don’t hide from the
people who love and support you or from life.
o Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.
o God has a plan for
your life … even if it’s not what you wanted or expected – participate with
Him.
o Get up and get on
with life. Just like David and Esther and Hosea and Mary and Joseph … God has a
plan for you best for you.
No
fault divorce is not ok with God. Don’t get caught up in that cycle because of
your own or because of someone else’s problems that they can’t or won’t
identify and change. God said do not be unequally yoked … God is trying to save us and Him
and your families some hurt and heartache.
