Wisdom From The Word
Gtcotr/ws081804
A word about daily bible reading plans.
* Straight through the bible - Normally Yearly
* Daily from several sections of the bible
> OT for history
> Psalms for praise & inspiration
> Proverbs for wisdom
> The prophets for a sense of spiritual awesomeness
> The Gospels for relationship & intimacy
> Revelation for futuristic perspective
* Read the ‘anywhere it opens up to method’ for ‘as long as you can stay awake plan.’
Some Interesting Facts About The Bible:
* 66 Books
> 39 OT
> 27 NT
* A total of 1,189 Chapters
> 929 OT
> 260 NT
* 31,173 Verses
> 23,214 OT
> 7,959 NT
It was about here in my research for this message that I came across a website that had some interesting information which I think you will both enjoy and perhaps by exposure to it, have the opportunity to become more familiar with the stories of the bible. (Sort of a history thing.)
So, I have decided to share this information, which is not original to me - in that I did not come up with this presentation myself, however I did take the liberty to do some editing which I felt did not do an injustice to the original intent. The website which you can visit for yourself and find out more interesting things about the bible is: http://pages.prodigy.net/deadrabbit/facts.htm
I do not vouch for the content nor the accuracy of the content on this site, however I have checked out the portion which I am about to share with you now and have found it to be oddly representative of the bible, at least in content if not so much in intent.
So tonight we are going to have a history lesson from the bible and hopefully gain some Wisdom from the Word and have some fun as well. On top of that, some of you may get some direction tonight.
The Top 15 Biblical Ways to Get a Wife
1. Find a prostitute, buy her, and marry her; If she runs off, pay her debt and marry her a second time if necessary. - Hosea Hosea 1:1-3 & 3:1-3
2. Find a preacher with 7 daughters and impress him by protecting his family and watering his flock - Moses Exodus 2:16-21
3. Purchase a piece of property and get a woman as part of the deal - Boaz Ruth 4:5-10
4. Go to a party and hide outside. When the women come outside to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife - Benjamites Judges 21:19-25
5. Find an attractive P.O.W., bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes - Israelites Deuteronomy 21:11-13
6. Just have your father send his servant to find and buy you one. - Isaac Genesis 24
7. Agree to work 7 years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman, then work 7 more years for the woman you wanted in the first place. That's right, 14 years of toil for a wife. But you do get two wives this way - Jacob. Genesis 29:15-30
8. Cut 200 foreskins off (OUCH!!) of your future father-in-law's enemies and win his daughter for a wife - David I Samuel 18:27
9. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. Marry the winner - Xerxes Esther 2:3-4
10. Even if no one is out there, just wander around for a bit and I guess you'll find someone eventually. (It's all relative, of course) - Cain Genesis 4:16-17
11. When you see a woman that you like, go tell your parents, "Get her for me." if they question your decision, simply flex your muscles and say, "Get her for me." - Samson Judges 14:1-3
12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Be prepared to pay a heavy price for this one) - David II Samuel 11
13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (This one isn't just a good idea, it was the law. Deuteronomy 25:5
14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity! (In other words, have 700 wives and three hundred concubines) - Solomon. 1Kings 11:1-3
15. Have GOD create a wife for you while you sleep - Adam. Genesis 2:19-24
The Top 7 Biblical Ways to Get a Husband
1. Take a bath naked on a rooftop in public - Bathsheba 2 Samuel 11:1-5
2. Find a woman who can’t have a baby. Hang around her and hope that she gives you to her husband - Hagar Genesis 16:1-2
3. Let daddy get a groom so drunk that he doesn’t know who he’s marrying, then substitute yourself for the bride. By the time he sobers up, you’ll be married - Leah Genesis 29:15-30
4. Marry a jerk. Be nice to his enemy, who is a nice guy. Tell your husband and when he has a stroke and dies, marry the nice guy. Abigail 1 Samuel 25:2-34
5. Go to the threshing floor; see a man asleep; lie at his feet and wait for him to wake up - Ruth Ruth 3:1-7
6. Go to a water hole; Find a guy with a lot of camels; Give him a drink and water his camels like your are auditioning for a drawing contest - Rebekah Genesis 24:11-14
7. Find someone whom told God to “Marry A Prostitute”, and become one - Gomer Hosea 1:2-3
8. Allow God to fashion you to be the one woman for the one man He has chosen for you. When God wakes him up, he’ll be willing to do anything to be with you - Eve Genesis 2:19-24
